KTeknis wrote:Alright, I guess. Admiration's effect has been changed.
You forgot to include the period after "material".
Also, after 'You can only activate 1 "Forumblitz Admiration" per turn,' could you add 'You cannot Summon the turn you activate this card, except "Forumblitz" monsters.' to the end of it?
Also, you should change the ritual effect of Forumblitz Monitoring to just "Negate the effects of 1 face-up card your opponent controls until the end of this turn."
Cards never simply "Negate a face-up card". They either "Negate
the activation" or "Negate
the effects of a face-up card".
Also, when Forumblitz Rookie says 'all face-up monsters you control are "Forumblitz" monster," that "monster" at the end has to be plural since you're referring to "
monsters you control" which is plural, so it's effect should say:
If you control no monsters, or all monsters you control are "Forumblitz" monsters: You can Special Summon this card from your hand. You can only use this effect of "Forumblitz Rookie" once per turn. You cannot Summon the turn you Summon this card, except "Forumblitz" monsters.It's effect to change a level to 4 is no longer necessary in my opinion since pretty much every monster in the archetype was already made level 4.
Also, for Forumblitz Blight Commander, you don't need those apostrophes in it's pendulum effect. There should be a period between "hand" and "You can only," not an apostrophe.
For it's monster effect, where it says:
If you control a face-up "Forumblitz" Normal, Ritual, Fusion, Synchro, or Link monster, You can also Xyz Summon this card by using a "Forumblitz Field Commander" you control as material.The "You" after that last comma shouldn't be capitalized since you aren't starting a sentence with it or having it after a colon.
Also, you don't need to say If you control a
face-up "Forumblitz" Normal, Ritual, Fusion, Synchro, or Link monster. You can just say 'If you control a "Forumblitz" Ritual, Fusion, or Link monster' without including the "face-up" part.
Also, it can be balanced a little by removing "Normal" and "Synchro" from the list of monsters you can control to summon it, making it so you need a "Forumblitz" Ritual, Fusion, or Link Monster only. The normal and synchro forumblitz monsters are too versatile and easy to bring out in my opinion to be included in what you can control.
Also, for Forumblitz Field Commander, I recommend either removing the first effect to make your monsters gain 300 ATK for each of it's materials, or changing the ATK gain to 500 or 1000 instead of 300 so it's easier to calculate in the player's head.
Also it shouldn't say 2 Level 4 "Forumblitz"
Monster. with a period at the end. It should say 2 Level 4 "Forumblitz"
monsters where "monster" is lower case and there is no period after it.
Also, where it says "for each
Xyz Material attached to this" you don't need to say "Xyz Material". You can just say "material".
Also since there aren't any more forumblitz monsters with a level other than 4 you can special summon from the hand with this effect, you can replace:
Special Summon 1
Level 4 or lower "Forumblitz" monster
with just:
Special Summon 1 "Forumblitz" monsterto make the effect shorter and easier to read.
Also, since Forumblitz Monitoring now has an effect to negate face-up cards, you should change Forumblitz Retreat's entire effect to:
Target any number of your "Forumblitz" cards that are on your field, GY, and/or banished; shuffle them into the Deck, then draw cards equal to the number of different monster card types you targeted with this effect (Normal, Ritual, Fusion, Synchro, Xyz, and Link). You cannot Summon the turn you activate this card, except "Forumblitz" monsters.