I don't know what Cromat's problem is. He just started being rude to people around the forum, like myself and Renji Asuka, for no good reason.
Altergeist Lamiadriver's text can be simplified from:
If an "Altergeist" card you control leaves the field to activate another "Altergeist" card or effect: You can discard this card; Set 1 "Altergeist" Trap card directly from your Deck. If an "Altergeist" monster would be used as Synchro or Link Material for an "Altergeist" Synchro or Link Monster: You can banish this card from your GY as Synchro or Link Material. You can only use each effect of "Altergeist Lamiadriver" once per turn.to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Altergeist Lamiadriver" once per turn.
● If an "Altergeist" card you control leaves the field to activate an "Altergeist" card or effect: You can discard this card; Set 1 "Altergeist" Trap from your Deck.
● If you control an "Altergeist" monster: You can Special Summon this card from your GY in Attack Position, but banish it when it leaves the field, also you cannot Special Summon for the rest of this turn, except "Altergeist" monsters.- You can say "an Altergeist card or effect" here instead of using the word "another"
- You don't need to need to include "directly" when making an effect set a card from outside the field
- Recommend changing the second effect entirely, from banishing the monster as synchro / link material to just special summoning it so you can use it as material that way, with the banishing happening afterwards
- Having these activated effects be sorted by bullet points and line breaks makes it easier on the eyes, instead of having those effects all look like one wall of text
Altergeist Proxilla being a monster card... with an effect treating it as a trap while in the deck is... weird. Recommend simply changing the entire thing to a continuous trap and shortening its effect from:
(This card is treated as a Trap card while in your Deck).
You can Set this card from your hand to your Spell & Trap Zone as a Trap Card. While Set as Trap card it gains the following effect:
● Special Summon this card, then Link Summon 1 "Altergeist" monster from your Extra Deck by using "Altergeist" monsters from your field as Link Materials, including this card.
If an "Altergeist" Link Monster is sent from your field to the GY: You can Special Summon this card from your GY in Defense Position, but banish it when it leaves the field. You can only use each effects of "Altergeist Proxilla" once per turn. All "Altergeist" monsters on your field gain 100 ATK/DEF for each "Altergeist" card on field.to:
Special Summon this card as an Effect Monster (Spellcaster/WATER/Level 7/ATK 0/DEF 0) (this card is also still a Trap), and if you do, immediately after this effect resolves, Link Summon 1 "Altergeist" monster. If an "Altergeist" Link Monster is sent to your GY while this card is in it: You can Special Summon this card as an Effect Monster (Spellcaster/WATER/Level 7/ATK 0/DEF 0) (this card is also still a Trap), but banish it when it leaves the field. You can only use this effect of "Altergeist Proxilla" once per turn. While this card is an Effect Monster, monsters you control gain 100 ATK/DEF for each "Altergeist" card you control.- When making an effect perform a link summon upon resolution, you don't need to include all this extra text of "from your Extra Deck by using "Altergeist" monsters from your field as Link Materials". Simply saying to perform the extra deck summon is enough. See Angello Vaalmonica as an example of this, and how that card simply says "Link Summon 1 "Vaalmonica" Link Monster" period
- You don't say "each effects". You say either "each effect" without the S at the end, or "each of these effects," "each of the following effects," or "each of the previous effects" depending on what would be the best way to word your card
Similarly, Altergeist Spamraune can be changed to a continuous trap with its effect shortened from:
(This card is treated as a Trap card while in your Deck).
You can Set this card from your hand to your Spell & Trap Zone as a Trap Card. While Set as Trap card it gains the following effect:
● Send 1 other face-up "Altergeist" card you control to the GY, then declare 1 card name on field; send that card to the GY.
If you activate a Trap card while this card is in your GY; You can Special Summon this card, but banish it when it leaves the field. You can only use each effects of "Altergeist Spamraune" once per turn.to:
Send 1 other face-up "Altergeist" card you control to the GY, then declare 1 card name on the field; send all copies of that declared card on the field to the GY. If you activate a Trap Card while this card is in your GY: You can Special Summon this card as a Normal Monster (Spellcaster/DARK/Level 4/ATK 0/DEF 0) (this card is also still a Trap), but banish it when it leaves the field. You can only use this effect of "Altergeist Spamraune" once per turn.Also, when writing the word "
card" after "
Trap," "
card" is capitalized. So you say "
Trap Card," not "
Trap card". This also goes for "
Spell Card" and "
Spell/Trap Card".
I believe you meant to spell Altergeist Backup Circe with a "
Circle" instead of just "
Circe" without an L
Either way, recommend buffing that card's effect from:
The first time each face-up "Atlergeist" card you control would be destroyed by battle or by an opponent's card effect is not destroyed. Once per turn, if you would Link Summon 1 "Altergeist" Link Monster: You can treat "Altergeist" monsters as Link 2 monsters.to:
The first time each "Atlergeist" card you control would be destroyed each turn, it is not destroyed. For your "Altergeist" monster's Link Summon, you can treat non-Link "Altergeist" monsters you control as Link-2 monsters for material.You usually put a hyphen between "
Link" and the listed link rating, unless you're also including Level or Rank like how
the Spright cards say "
Level/Rank/Link 2".
Altergeist Databending can be buffed from:
You can only control 1 "Altergeist Databending". Monsters your opponent controls lose 200 ATK/DEF for each "Altergeist" card with a different name on your field. You can return 1 other face-up "Altergeist" card you control, then target 1 card in the GYs; send that card of top of the Deck OR if you targeted a Trap Card; You can Set it to your field, but banish it when it leaves the field. That card can be activated the same turn it was Set if you only control "Altergeist" cards. You can only use this effects of "Altergeist Databending" once per turn.to:
You can only control 1 "Altergeist Databending". Monsters your opponent controls lose 200 ATK/DEF for each "Altergeist" card you control. You can return 1 other face-up "Altergeist" card you control to the hand, then target 1 card in the GY; put it on top of the Deck, or you can Set it to your field if it is a Trap, and if you Set it, it can be activated this turn if all face-up cards you currently control are "Altergeist" cards, but banish it when it leaves the field. You can only use this effect of "Altergeist Databending" once per turn.Need to include where this "
other face-up Altergeist card" you're returning is being returned to, since the current effect is missing that.
Network Pandora's text refers to itself as
Data Pandora. This needs to be corrected. Either change the card's name to Data Pandora, or replace:
You can only activate 1 "Data Pandora" once per turn.with:
You can only activate 1 "Network Pandora" per turn.A synchro monster that requires a specific archetype of non-tuners needs to say "
non-Tuner" first then the archetype. So for Altergeist Domerator's material requirement, replace:
+ 1 "Altergeist" non-Tuner monster.with:
+ 1 non-Tuner "Altergeist" monsterYou also don't include a period at the end of a fusion / synchro / xyz / link monster's listed materials.
Also, similar to Altergeist Lamiadriver, this monster can have its effects sorted into bullet points to improve readability, by changing the text from:
Link 2 or higher "Altergeist" Link Monsters you control can be treated as Level 4 monsters for this card's Synchro Summon. If an "Altergeist" card you control leaves the field to activate another "Altergeist" card or effect: You can target 1 card on field or in your opponent's GY; banish it. If this card is sent from your field to the GY: You can add 1 "Altergeist" card from your GY to your hand. You can only use each effects of "Altergeist Domerator" once per turn.to:
For this card's Synchro Summon, you can treat 1 Link-2 or higher "Altergeist" monster you control as a Level 4 monster for material. You can only use each of the following effects of "Altergeist Domerator" once per turn.
● If an "Altergeist" card you control leaves the field to activate an "Altergeist" card or effect: You can target 1 card on the field or GY; banish it.
● If this card is sent from your field to the GY: You can add 1 "Altergeist" card from your Deck to your hand.You don't need to say "
Link" twice when referencing any monster with a specific link rating. You can say either:
Link-2 or higher "Altergeist" monsteror:
"Altergeist" Link Monsterbut not:
Link-2 or higher "Altergeist" Link MonsterAltergeist Harver can also have its effect made easier to read by changing:
If this card is Link Summoned: You can 1 add "Altergeist" card from your Deck to your hand, but you cannot activate its effects until the end of the turn. Once while this card is face-up on the field (Quick Effect): If your opponent would add a card from their Deck by a card or effect: You can send 1 other "Altergeist" card from your field to the GY; negate that effect. You can only use each effects of "Altergeist Harver" once per turn.to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Altergeist Harver" once per turn.
● If this card is Link Summoned: You can add 1 "Altergeist" card from your Deck to your hand, but you cannot activate cards with, or effects of cards with, that name for the rest of this turn.
● Once while face-up on the field, when your opponent activates a card or effect that would add a card from a Deck to a hand (Quick Effect): You can send 1 other "Altergeist" card you control to the GY; negate that effect.The restriction "
you cannot activate its effects until the end of the turn" won't function properly since it wouldn't stop you from using another copy of that card. To avoid this issue, it needs to instead apply to all cards with the added card name.
Altergeist Sphyncrash's first effect needs to be worded so the card(s) it shuffles away for cost must be face-up. This prevents issues of trying to shuffle away a face-down extra deck monster, as those kinds of cards can't be used for costs that require putting them in the main deck.