Stormaster

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Lil Oldman
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Stormaster

Post #1 by Lil Oldman » Thu Feb 23, 2023 4:26 am

The Stormasters have arrived, the wielders of the storm.
Card List: https://www.duelingbook.com/deck?id=12508517

The Stormasters is an archetype of Synchro WATER monsters centered around controlling the battlefield. They achieve this by using their monsters and transforming them into Continous Traps, similar to that of the Vision HEROs. While as monsters, they generate advantage when summoned, but as traps, they look to restrict and control the field.

The Stormasters also aim to generate Storm Counters, with the Traps requiring them to use their effects and the Synchro Monsters use said Counters to disrupt the opponent's field.

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Christen57
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Post #2 by Christen57 » Thu Feb 23, 2023 7:14 pm

Stormaster - Dew Point's effect can be shortened from:
If a "Stormaster" monster is placed in a Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap: You can Special Summon this card (from your hand), then if you control a "Stormaster" Synchro monster, place 1 Storm Counter on it. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, it gains the following effect.
● When a card or effect is activated: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your side of the field; Negate that card or effect, and if you do, destroy that card.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Dew Point" once per turn.

to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Dew Pont" once per turn.
● If you control a "Stormaster" Continuous Trap (Quick Effect): You can Special Summon this card from your hand, then if you control a "Stormaster" Synchro Monster, place 1 Storm Counter on this card.
● You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap.
● When a card or effect is activated while you control this card treated as a Continuous Trap: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your field; negate the activation, and if you do, destroy it.


  • "From your hand" doesn't need to be in parentheses here since the colon near the beginning already indicates that this effect is an activated one
  • Better to specify which card this effect is placing that Storm Counter on since it's currently not clear if "place 1 Storm Counter on it" means place the Storm Counter on the synchro monster, on the card in the spell & trap zone, or on itself
  • Better to have all those effects separated by bullet points instead of just one of them. It makes the text easier on the eyes and the effect easier to read
  • The effect that places itself in the spell & trap zone doesn't need to specify that it has to be done "During your Main Phase" since ignition effects always, by default, activate only during the main phase in an open gamestate
  • Instead of having the effect say to remove the counter "from your side of the field" it can instead just say "from your field" which is shorter; there's no need to include "side of the"
  • Continuous is spelled with a U, like, Contin U Ous. You keep spelling it without one, like, Contin Ous

Stormaster - Heavy Rain's effect can be shortened from:
If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, and if you do, place a Storm Counter on it. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, it gains the following effect.
● You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your side of the field; All monsters you control gain ATK equal to half their original ATK, but all battle damage your opponent takes this turn is halved, also for the rest of this turn you cannot Special Summon monsters from your Extra Deck, except Synchro monsters. During the End Phase after you activated this effect, inflict damage to your opponent equal to the battle damage your opponent has taken this turn.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Heavy Rain" once per turn.

to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Heavy Rain" once per turn.
● If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck or GY in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on it.
● You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control.
● If this card is treated as a Continuous Trap: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your field; this turn, double the ATK of all monsters you currently control, also you cannot Special Summon non-Synchro Monsters from the Extra Deck.


I'm not sure why this card's current "continuous trap" effect wants to, on one hand, increase monsters' ATK, but on the other hand, halve the damage they inflict, even though you still wish to... inflict the other half of that already-halved ATK/damage during the end phase...
Why not just keep it simple by making it double monsters' ATK and be done with it?

Stormaster - Monsoon Twister's effect can be simplified from:
If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: Special Summon 1 non-tuner "Stormaster" monster from your Deck or GY. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, it gains the following effect.
● You can send this card you control to the GY and remove 2 Storm Counters from your side of the field; Place 2 "Stormaster" monsters from your Deck in your Spell & Trap Zone as Continous Traps.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Monsoon Twister" once per turn.

to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Monsoon Twister" once per turn.
● If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can Special Summon 1 non-Tuner "Stormaster" monster from your Deck or GY.
● You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control.
● If this card is treated as a Continuous Trap: You can remove 2 Storm Counters from your field; send it to the GY, and if you do, place 2 "Stormaster" monsters from your hand and/or Deck in your Spell & Trap Zones as face-up Continuous Spells.


"Tuner" is always capitalized, even if it's coming after "non-"

Stormaster - Oil Rain's effect can be shortened from:
If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can add 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck to your hand. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone, it gains the following effect.
● Once per turn: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your side of the field; All monsters your opponent controls lose 500 ATK and all monsters you control gain 1000 ATK, also for the rest of this turn you cannot Special Summon monsters from your Extra Deck, except Synchro monsters.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Oil rain" once per turn.

to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Oil Rain" once per turn.
● If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can add 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck or GY to your hand.
● You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control.
● If this card is treated as a Continuous Trap: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your field; this turn, the ATK/DEF of all monsters your opponent currently controls become 0, also you cannot Special Summon non-Synchro Monsters from the Extra Deck.


Since Stormaster - Heavy Rain's continuous trap effect already increases your monsters' ATK, this effect should mirror that by reducing the opponent's monsters' ATK.

Stormaster - Storm Cell's effect can be shortened from:
If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can place 3 Storm Counters among face-up "Stormaster" card(s) you control. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, it gains the following effect.
● During your opponent's Standby Phase: You can activate this effect; Place 5 Storm Counters on this card, then for the rest of this turn, each time your opponent declares an attack, remove a Storm Counter from this card. During the end of the turn, remove all Storm Counters from this card and destroy up to the same amount of cards your opponent controls.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Storm Cell" once per turn.

to:
Each time your opponent declares an attack while you control this card treated as a Continuous Trap, remove 1 Storm Counter from it. You can only use each of the following effects of "Stormaster - Storm Cell" once per turn.
● If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can place 3 Storm Counters among "Stormaster" card(s) you control.
● You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control.
● During your opponent's Standby Phase, if this card is treated as a Continuous Trap: Place 5 Storm Counters on it, and if you do, remove all Storm Counters from it during the End Phase, and if you do that, destroy cards your opponent controls up to the number removed.


You don't need to specify that the "Stormaster card(s)" need to be face-up, since counters can only, by default, be placed on face-up cards.

Stormaster - Thick Fog's effect can be shortened from:
If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can target 1 "Stormaster" monster in your GY; Either place it on your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap or add it to your hand. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, it gains the following effect.
● Once per turn: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your side of the field and target 1 face-up monster your opponent controls; Change your opponent's target to face-down Defense Position, also for the rest of this turn, you cannot Special Summon monsters from your Extra Deck, except Synchro monsters.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Thick Fog" once per turn.

to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Thick Fog" once per turn.
● If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: Target 1 "Stormaster" monster in your GY; place it in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap or add it to your hand.
● You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control.
● If this card is treated as a Continuous Trap: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your field, then target 1 opponent's face-up monster; change that target to face-down Defense Position, but if you do, you cannot Special Summon non-Synchro Monsters from the Extra Deck for the rest of this turn.


Stormaster - Weather Inversion's effect can be shortened from:
If a "Stormaster" monster is placed in a Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap: You can Special Summon this card (from your hand), then if you control a "Stormaster" Synchro monster, place 1 Storm Counter on it. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, it gains the following effect.
● You can discard 1 card and remove 1 Storm Counter from your side of the field; Special Summon 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck, also for the rest of this turn you cannot Special Summon monsters from your Extra Deck, except Synchro monsters.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Weather Inversion" once per turn.

to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Weather Inversion" once per turn.
● If you control a "Stormaster" Continuous Trap (Quick Effect): You can Special Summon this card from your hand, then if you control a "Stormaster" Synchro Monster, place 1 Storm Counter on this card.
● If this card is treated as a Continuous Trap: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your field and discard 1 card; Special Summon 1 "Stormaster" monster from your hand/Deck, but if you do, you cannot Special Summon non-Synchro Monsters from the Extra Deck for the rest of this turn.


Stormaster - Deep Diver's effect can be shortened from:
1 WATER tuner + 1+ non-tuner monsters
If this card is Special Summoned: You can place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck or GY in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap. If a card or effect is activated that would destroy 1 "Stormaster" card you control; Banish this card you control, and if you do, negate that card or effect. (Quick Effect): You can remove 1 Storm Counter from this card and target 1 card your opponent controls; Banish both this and that card. During the End Phase, if this card is banished and was banished by it's own effect: You can Special Summon this card. You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Deep Diver" once per turn.

to:
1 WATER Tuner + 1+ non-Tuner monsters
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Deep Diver" once per turn.
● If this card is Special Summoned: You can place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck or GY in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap.
● When a card or effect is activated that would destroy a card(s) (Quick Effect): You can banish this card you control, and if you do, negate the effect.
● (Quick Effect): You can remove 1 Storm Counter from this card, then target 1 card your opponent controls; banish both.
● During the End Phase of the turn this card was banished by its own effect: Special Summon it.


Stormaster - Rainmaker's effect can be shortened from:
1 WATER tuner + 1+ non-tuner monsters
Your opponent cannot target "Stormaster" Continous Traps you control with card effects. This card with a Storm Counter cannot be destroyed by card effects, also, during each turn it can declare attacks up to the amount of Storm Counters on this card +1. During the End Phase: You can send 1 "Stormaster" Continous Trap you control to the GY; Place 1 Storm Counter on this card, and if you do, place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck, in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap.
You can only use this effect of "Stormaster - Rainmaker" once per turn.

to:
1 WATER Tuner + 1+ non-Tuner monsters
Continuous Traps you control are un-targetable by effects. This card with a Storm Counter cannot be destroyed by effects, also for each Storm Counter it has, it gains 1 additional attack during each Battle Phase. During the End Phase: You can send 1 Continuous Trap you control to the GY; place 1 Storm Counter on this card, and if you do, place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your hand or Deck in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap. You can only use this effect of "Stormaster - Rainmaker" once per turn.


"Place" should be lowercase here, not uppercase. This is because you're not starting a sentence with it, and it isn't one of those words that you always capitalize no matter what, like Deck, or GY or something.

"You can send 1 Continuous Trap you control to the GY"
and:
"place 1 Storm Counter on this card, and if you do, place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your hand or Deck in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap"
are all 1 single sentence, not 2 separate sentences. Semi-colons do not split sentences into separate sentences.

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Post #3 by troglyte » Thu Feb 23, 2023 7:59 pm

The name 'Stormasters' makes me think of a bunch of tyrannical Target managers.

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Lil Oldman
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Post #4 by Lil Oldman » Fri Feb 24, 2023 3:51 am

Christen57 wrote:Stormaster - Dew Point's effect can be shortened from:
If a "Stormaster" monster is placed in a Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap: You can Special Summon this card (from your hand), then if you control a "Stormaster" Synchro monster, place 1 Storm Counter on it. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, it gains the following effect.
● When a card or effect is activated: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your side of the field; Negate that card or effect, and if you do, destroy that card.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Dew Point" once per turn.

to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Dew Pont" once per turn.
● If you control a "Stormaster" Continuous Trap (Quick Effect): You can Special Summon this card from your hand, then if you control a "Stormaster" Synchro Monster, place 1 Storm Counter on this card.
● You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap.
● When a card or effect is activated while you control this card treated as a Continuous Trap: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your field; negate the activation, and if you do, destroy it.


  • "From your hand" doesn't need to be in parentheses here since the colon near the beginning already indicates that this effect is an activated one
  • Better to specify which card this effect is placing that Storm Counter on since it's currently not clear if "place 1 Storm Counter on it" means place the Storm Counter on the synchro monster, on the card in the spell & trap zone, or on itself
  • Better to have all those effects separated by bullet points instead of just one of them. It makes the text easier on the eyes and the effect easier to read
  • The effect that places itself in the spell & trap zone doesn't need to specify that it has to be done "During your Main Phase" since ignition effects always, by default, activate only during the main phase in an open gamestate
  • Instead of having the effect say to remove the counter "from your side of the field" it can instead just say "from your field" which is shorter; there's no need to include "side of the"
  • Continuous is spelled with a U, like, Contin U Ous. You keep spelling it without one, like, Contin Ous

Stormaster - Heavy Rain's effect can be shortened from:
If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, and if you do, place a Storm Counter on it. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, it gains the following effect.
● You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your side of the field; All monsters you control gain ATK equal to half their original ATK, but all battle damage your opponent takes this turn is halved, also for the rest of this turn you cannot Special Summon monsters from your Extra Deck, except Synchro monsters. During the End Phase after you activated this effect, inflict damage to your opponent equal to the battle damage your opponent has taken this turn.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Heavy Rain" once per turn.

to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Heavy Rain" once per turn.
● If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck or GY in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on it.
● You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control.
● If this card is treated as a Continuous Trap: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your field; this turn, double the ATK of all monsters you currently control, also you cannot Special Summon non-Synchro Monsters from the Extra Deck.


I'm not sure why this card's current "continuous trap" effect wants to, on one hand, increase monsters' ATK, but on the other hand, halve the damage they inflict, even though you still wish to... inflict the other half of that already-halved ATK/damage during the end phase...
Why not just keep it simple by making it double monsters' ATK and be done with it?

Stormaster - Monsoon Twister's effect can be simplified from:
If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: Special Summon 1 non-tuner "Stormaster" monster from your Deck or GY. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, it gains the following effect.
● You can send this card you control to the GY and remove 2 Storm Counters from your side of the field; Place 2 "Stormaster" monsters from your Deck in your Spell & Trap Zone as Continous Traps.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Monsoon Twister" once per turn.

to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Monsoon Twister" once per turn.
● If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can Special Summon 1 non-Tuner "Stormaster" monster from your Deck or GY.
● You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control.
● If this card is treated as a Continuous Trap: You can remove 2 Storm Counters from your field; send it to the GY, and if you do, place 2 "Stormaster" monsters from your hand and/or Deck in your Spell & Trap Zones as face-up Continuous Spells.


"Tuner" is always capitalized, even if it's coming after "non-"

Stormaster - Oil Rain's effect can be shortened from:
If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can add 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck to your hand. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone, it gains the following effect.
● Once per turn: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your side of the field; All monsters your opponent controls lose 500 ATK and all monsters you control gain 1000 ATK, also for the rest of this turn you cannot Special Summon monsters from your Extra Deck, except Synchro monsters.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Oil rain" once per turn.

to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Oil Rain" once per turn.
● If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can add 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck or GY to your hand.
● You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control.
● If this card is treated as a Continuous Trap: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your field; this turn, the ATK/DEF of all monsters your opponent currently controls become 0, also you cannot Special Summon non-Synchro Monsters from the Extra Deck.


Since Stormaster - Heavy Rain's continuous trap effect already increases your monsters' ATK, this effect should mirror that by reducing the opponent's monsters' ATK.

Stormaster - Storm Cell's effect can be shortened from:
If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can place 3 Storm Counters among face-up "Stormaster" card(s) you control. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, it gains the following effect.
● During your opponent's Standby Phase: You can activate this effect; Place 5 Storm Counters on this card, then for the rest of this turn, each time your opponent declares an attack, remove a Storm Counter from this card. During the end of the turn, remove all Storm Counters from this card and destroy up to the same amount of cards your opponent controls.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Storm Cell" once per turn.

to:
Each time your opponent declares an attack while you control this card treated as a Continuous Trap, remove 1 Storm Counter from it. You can only use each of the following effects of "Stormaster - Storm Cell" once per turn.
● If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can place 3 Storm Counters among "Stormaster" card(s) you control.
● You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control.
● During your opponent's Standby Phase, if this card is treated as a Continuous Trap: Place 5 Storm Counters on it, and if you do, remove all Storm Counters from it during the End Phase, and if you do that, destroy cards your opponent controls up to the number removed.


You don't need to specify that the "Stormaster card(s)" need to be face-up, since counters can only, by default, be placed on face-up cards.

Stormaster - Thick Fog's effect can be shortened from:
If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: You can target 1 "Stormaster" monster in your GY; Either place it on your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap or add it to your hand. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, it gains the following effect.
● Once per turn: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your side of the field and target 1 face-up monster your opponent controls; Change your opponent's target to face-down Defense Position, also for the rest of this turn, you cannot Special Summon monsters from your Extra Deck, except Synchro monsters.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Thick Fog" once per turn.

to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Thick Fog" once per turn.
● If this card is Normal or Special Summoned: Target 1 "Stormaster" monster in your GY; place it in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap or add it to your hand.
● You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control.
● If this card is treated as a Continuous Trap: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your field, then target 1 opponent's face-up monster; change that target to face-down Defense Position, but if you do, you cannot Special Summon non-Synchro Monsters from the Extra Deck for the rest of this turn.


Stormaster - Weather Inversion's effect can be shortened from:
If a "Stormaster" monster is placed in a Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap: You can Special Summon this card (from your hand), then if you control a "Stormaster" Synchro monster, place 1 Storm Counter on it. During your Main Phase: You can place this card in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, and if you do, place 1 Storm Counter on a "Stormaster" card you control. While this card is in the Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap, it gains the following effect.
● You can discard 1 card and remove 1 Storm Counter from your side of the field; Special Summon 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck, also for the rest of this turn you cannot Special Summon monsters from your Extra Deck, except Synchro monsters.
You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Weather Inversion" once per turn.

to:
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Weather Inversion" once per turn.
● If you control a "Stormaster" Continuous Trap (Quick Effect): You can Special Summon this card from your hand, then if you control a "Stormaster" Synchro Monster, place 1 Storm Counter on this card.
● If this card is treated as a Continuous Trap: You can remove 1 Storm Counter from your field and discard 1 card; Special Summon 1 "Stormaster" monster from your hand/Deck, but if you do, you cannot Special Summon non-Synchro Monsters from the Extra Deck for the rest of this turn.


Stormaster - Deep Diver's effect can be shortened from:
1 WATER tuner + 1+ non-tuner monsters
If this card is Special Summoned: You can place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck or GY in your Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap. If a card or effect is activated that would destroy 1 "Stormaster" card you control; Banish this card you control, and if you do, negate that card or effect. (Quick Effect): You can remove 1 Storm Counter from this card and target 1 card your opponent controls; Banish both this and that card. During the End Phase, if this card is banished and was banished by it's own effect: You can Special Summon this card. You can only use each effect of "Stormaster - Deep Diver" once per turn.

to:
1 WATER Tuner + 1+ non-Tuner monsters
You can only use each of these effects of "Stormaster - Deep Diver" once per turn.
● If this card is Special Summoned: You can place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck or GY in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap.
● When a card or effect is activated that would destroy a card(s) (Quick Effect): You can banish this card you control, and if you do, negate the effect.
● (Quick Effect): You can remove 1 Storm Counter from this card, then target 1 card your opponent controls; banish both.
● During the End Phase of the turn this card was banished by its own effect: Special Summon it.


Stormaster - Rainmaker's effect can be shortened from:
1 WATER tuner + 1+ non-tuner monsters
Your opponent cannot target "Stormaster" Continous Traps you control with card effects. This card with a Storm Counter cannot be destroyed by card effects, also, during each turn it can declare attacks up to the amount of Storm Counters on this card +1. During the End Phase: You can send 1 "Stormaster" Continous Trap you control to the GY; Place 1 Storm Counter on this card, and if you do, place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your Deck, in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap.
You can only use this effect of "Stormaster - Rainmaker" once per turn.

to:
1 WATER Tuner + 1+ non-Tuner monsters
Continuous Traps you control are un-targetable by effects. This card with a Storm Counter cannot be destroyed by effects, also for each Storm Counter it has, it gains 1 additional attack during each Battle Phase. During the End Phase: You can send 1 Continuous Trap you control to the GY; place 1 Storm Counter on this card, and if you do, place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your hand or Deck in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap. You can only use this effect of "Stormaster - Rainmaker" once per turn.


"Place" should be lowercase here, not uppercase. This is because you're not starting a sentence with it, and it isn't one of those words that you always capitalize no matter what, like Deck, or GY or something.

"You can send 1 Continuous Trap you control to the GY"
and:
"place 1 Storm Counter on this card, and if you do, place 1 "Stormaster" monster from your hand or Deck in your Spell & Trap Zone as a face-up Continuous Trap"
are all 1 single sentence, not 2 separate sentences. Semi-colons do not split sentences into separate sentences.

Thanks for your response. I applied most of these changes, although I tweaked because they werent what I initially envisioned.
Dew Point and Weather Inversion were meant to trigger when a Stormaster was placed on a Trap, not to be always live while I controlled a Trap. They were meant to be reactive combo pieces and not proactive pieces.
Heavy Rain I'll be honest was just made that way in order to reference a videogame, but I think just making them gain half the ATK works fine, since the halving and then doubling was just redundant.
Oil Rain doing Quaeritis at will does not quite sit right with me, so I just made it reduce by 1k instead.
I don't think Rainmaker effect is correct. I do not know of any card that straight up says "X cards are un-targetable.", also, I specified Stormaster Continous Traps so that cards like Skill Drain werent getting buffed.
"Complacency? How rude. I live the stifling life of a high school student in our problematic modern society."
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Post #5 by Christen57 » Fri Feb 24, 2023 1:02 pm

Lil Oldman wrote:I don't think Rainmaker effect is correct. I do not know of any card that straight up says "X cards are un-targetable.",


https://yugipedia.com/wiki/Ritual_of_Grace

also, I specified Stormaster Continous Traps so that cards like Skill Drain werent getting buffed.


Skill Drain would negate that monster's targeting protection effect anyway, making it unable to protect Skill Drain, but... okay.

Dew Point and Weather Inversion were meant to trigger when a Stormaster was placed on a Trap, not to be always live while I controlled a Trap. They were meant to be reactive combo pieces and not proactive pieces.


In that case, you can shorten:
If a "Stormaster" monster is placed in a Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap
to:
If a "Stormaster" monster is placed in a Spell & Trap Zone

as I don't think specifying that it needs to be placed there specifically as a continuous trap will be necessary.

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Post #6 by Lil Oldman » Fri Feb 24, 2023 5:12 pm

Christen57 wrote:
Lil Oldman wrote:I don't think Rainmaker effect is correct. I do not know of any card that straight up says "X cards are un-targetable.",


https://yugipedia.com/wiki/Ritual_of_Grace

also, I specified Stormaster Continous Traps so that cards like Skill Drain werent getting buffed.


Skill Drain would negate that monster's targeting protection effect anyway, making it unable to protect Skill Drain, but... okay.

Dew Point and Weather Inversion were meant to trigger when a Stormaster was placed on a Trap, not to be always live while I controlled a Trap. They were meant to be reactive combo pieces and not proactive pieces.


In that case, you can shorten:
If a "Stormaster" monster is placed in a Spell & Trap Zone as a Continous Trap
to:
If a "Stormaster" monster is placed in a Spell & Trap Zone

as I don't think specifying that it needs to be placed there specifically as a continuous trap will be necessary.

Ritual of Grace was printed once before PSCT iirc.
Okay I got silly on the Skill Drain, I just meant regular floodgates like Gozen and Rivalry.
And the suggested text suggests that it can get funky with Thousand-eyes and the Vaylantz cards (extreme examples tho).
"Complacency? How rude. I live the stifling life of a high school student in our problematic modern society."
Help I cannot remove this music from my head
https://youtu.be/ZuXI7qcNsHQ
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Post #7 by Christen57 » Sat Feb 25, 2023 3:51 am

Lil Oldman wrote:Ritual of Grace was printed once before PSCT iirc.


It's still valid, and uses less character space, to say:
Continuous Traps you control are un-targetable by your opponent's effects
instead of:
Your opponent cannot target Continuous Traps you control with card effects
or:
Continuous Traps you control cannot be targeted by your opponent's effects

And the suggested text suggests that it can get funky with Thousand-eyes and the Vaylantz cards (extreme examples tho).


The Thousand-Eyes and Eyes Restrict monsters' equipping effects only work on opponent's monsters, so you wouldn't be able to use any of those effects to put your own Stormasters in the spell & trap zone. As for Vaylantz, the only cards in that archetype that could put your Stormasters into the spell & trap zone are Vaylantz World - Konig Wissen and Mamonaka the Vaylantz United, and again, that's only if the opponent chooses to use those effects to do so. They don't allow you to use those effects to do so yourself.

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Post #8 by Lil Oldman » Sat Feb 25, 2023 4:28 am

Christen57 wrote:
Lil Oldman wrote:Ritual of Grace was printed once before PSCT iirc.


It's still valid, and uses less character space, to say:
Continuous Traps you control are un-targetable by your opponent's effects
instead of:
Your opponent cannot target Continuous Traps you control with card effects
or:
Continuous Traps you control cannot be targeted by your opponent's effects

And the suggested text suggests that it can get funky with Thousand-eyes and the Vaylantz cards (extreme examples tho).


The Thousand-Eyes and Eyes Restrict monsters' equipping effects only work on opponent's monsters, so you wouldn't be able to use any of those effects to put your own Stormasters in the spell & trap zone. As for Vaylantz, the only cards in that archetype that could put your Stormasters into the spell & trap zone are Vaylantz World - Konig Wissen and Mamonaka the Vaylantz United, and again, that's only if the opponent chooses to use those effects to do so. They don't allow you to use those effects to do so yourself.

I'd rather use the PSCT approved method.
And I just listed 2 examples that came to my mind. It is meant to be future-proofed.
"Complacency? How rude. I live the stifling life of a high school student in our problematic modern society."
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Post #9 by Christen57 » Sat Feb 25, 2023 9:36 pm

Lil Oldman wrote:
Christen57 wrote:
Lil Oldman wrote:Ritual of Grace was printed once before PSCT iirc.


It's still valid, and uses less character space, to say:
Continuous Traps you control are un-targetable by your opponent's effects
instead of:
Your opponent cannot target Continuous Traps you control with card effects
or:
Continuous Traps you control cannot be targeted by your opponent's effects

I'd rather use the PSCT approved method.


All 3 of them might as well be considered PSCT-approved methods for the time being until Konami decides to word it some new way or unless the PSCT page gets updated saying otherwise, as that page currently doesn't say the term "un-targetable" is outdated or no longer used, like it does with other wordings.
Besides, plenty of cards printed after introduction of PSCT word it as "Cannot be targeted by an/your opponent's card effects" while others have it worded as "Your opponent cannot target this card with card effects" despite being also printed after introduction of PSCT.

So currently, none of them are the "true correct way" to word it, so the one we might as well go with is the one that takes up the least amount of character space, as that's the whole point of problem-solving card text — to solve problems with card text being either too difficult to understand, or too long when it could be worded differently so it takes up less space.

Why Konami decided to stop using "are/is un-targetable" and instead go with "cannot be targeted by" and "cannot target this/them with" I don't know, even though the latter 2 clearly take up more character space and don't fix any understandability issue(s).

Then again, "Konami" isn't one single entity but rather several entities, such as North American Konami, European Konami, Asian Konami, Latin American Konami, etc, and the way one of them chooses to word a modern card sometimes differs from the way others choose to word it, like how one of the "Konamis" responsible for designing the Burning Abyss monsters worded them as:
You can only use 1 of these effects of "card name" per turn, and only once that turn.
● effect 1
● effect 2

while one of the other Konamis responsible for designing the Dragon Ruler monsters chose to instead word those as:
effect 1. effect 2. You can only use 1 "card name" effect per turn, and only once that turn.

Originally, you had your Stormaster monsters worded more like the Dragon Rulers, while I suggested incorporating more bullet points and line breaks so they'd be more like the Burning Abysses. Neither of them was the objectively correct or "psct-approved" way, as cards to this day that get printed continue to get worded either way. I just chose to go with the bullet point wording because it would make the text easier on the eyes.
Effects are easier to read when separated by bullet points and line breaks instead of being jumbled up looking like all one single effect.
https://www.thirdwunder.com/blog/how-readability-affects-your-content/
https://strategiccontent.co/learn-how-to-write-bullet-points/
https://copyblogger.com/writing-bullet-points/


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