Custom Archetype: Star-Knights (Based on the Quincy from Bleach)

[Duskframe]

This is my first attempt at making a custom archetype, based on the Quincy from Bleach (the Sternritter specifically) i'm pretty new to Duelingbook so i'm sure it's riddled with issues but here's the deck: (IMPORTANT: some of these cards can be considered spoilers for the final arc of the Bleach manga, be warned)
https://www.duelingbook.com/deck?id=11905456
I'd love feedback on how I can make it better, I have ideas for other Bleach related Archetypes as well.

[DarwisBellium92]

A custom anime fanart is NOT a true custom.

[Duskframe]

I don't know if this makes it better or worse, but the art is taken straight from the manga, rather than fanart

[DarwisBellium92]

I don't know if this makes it better or worse, but the art is taken straight from the manga, rather than fanart

All those who make anime/manga themed custom cards are always broken/OP and zero originality.

Word from the pioneer of the custom card, that is me.

[DarwisBellium92]

Anyway, a StarKnight archetype in TCG/OCG already exist

[Lil Oldman]

Lmao

[Christen57]

I don't watch any manga, so I don't care if your archetype "spoils" anything.

I'm not sure if Footsoldier of the Star-Knights is supposed to be able to trigger his effect once per turn while he's face-up on the field, or once upon his own normal or special summon. If it's the former, his effect should be:
Once per turn: You can add 1 "Star-Knight" monster or "Holy Selection" from your Deck to your hand.
if it's the latter, his effect should be:
When this card is Summoned: You can add 1 "Star-Knight" monster or "Holy Selection" from your Deck to your hand.

Star-Knight Winding Nianzol's effect can be shortened from:
Once per turn: If you control a "Star-Knight" monster other than "Star-Knight Winding Nianzol", you can special summon this card from your hand. When this card is selected as an attack target: you can pay 500 LP; change the attack target to a different monster you control.
to:
If you control a "Star-Knight" monster except "Star-Knight Winding Nianzol", you can Special Summon this card (from your hand). You choose the attack targets for your opponent's attacks.

You don't put soft once per turn restrictions on effects that activate/resolve in the hand, also it's unnecessary for the attack-redirecting effect to require life points, as such an effect isn't strong enough to require such a cost.

Star-Knight Gluttonous Liltotto's effect can be shortened from:
Once per turn: If you control a "Star-Knight" Monster other than "Star-Knight Gluttonous Liltotto", you can special summon this card from your hand. Once per turn: You can target one spell/trap card your opponent controls and destroy it, this card gains 500 ATK for every card destroyed this way.
to:
If you control a "Star-Knight" monster except "Star-Knight Gluttonous Liltotto", you can Special Summon this card (from your hand). Once per turn: You can target 1 Spell/Trap; destroy it, and if you do, this card gains 500 ATK.

Star-Knight Thunderbolt Candice's effect can be shortened from:
Once per turn: If you control a "Star-Knight" Monster other than "Star-Knight Thunderbolt Candice", you can special summon this card from your hand.
This card gains 200 ATK for every "Star-Knight" monster you control.
to:
If you control a "Star-Knight" monster except "Gluttonous Liltotto", you can Special Summon this card (from your hand). Gains 500 ATK for each card you control.

200 ATK just for each monster you control is too small and weak. 500 seems more appropriate, especially when the previous monster follows a pattern of 500-ATK increases.

Star-Knight Zombie Giselle's effect can be buffed from:
This card cannot be destroyed by battle. You take no damage from battles involving this card. Once per turn: If this card battles a monster: you can pay 1000 LP; take control of that monster until the end phase, but it's effects are negated.
to:
Cannot be destroyed by battle. You take no damage from battles involving this card. Once per turn, during the Battle Phase (Quick Effect): You can pay 1000 LP; take control of 1 monster your opponent controls (until the End Phase), then you can negate the effects of 1 face-up card on the field until the end of this turn.

It's perfectly fine for negating the stolen monster's effects to be optional instead of mandatory, and for this effect to be able to trigger during the battle phase in general instead of specifically while it's battling.

Star-Knight Hothead Bazz-B's effect can be buffed from:
Once per turn: If you control a "Star-Knight" Monster, other than "Star-Knight Hothead Bazz-B" you can special summon this card from your hand. Once per turn: You can discard one card, then destroy one monster your opponent controls; this card gains ATK equal to half of the destroyed monster's ATK until the end of this turn.
to:
If you control a "Star-Knight" monster except "Star-Knight Hothead Bazz-B", you can Special Summon this card (from your hand). Once per turn: You can discard 1 card; destroy 1 monster your opponent controls, and if you do, this card gains ATK equal to that monster's ATK or DEF (whichever is higher) until the end of this turn.

Special Summon is always capitalized, and the destroying should be done after the cost is paid, not at the same time it's paid. Also, it's easier and faster to calculate an exact ATK/DEF value than half of it.

Uryu, Antithesis of the Star-Knights's effect should be simplified from:
When your opponent activates a card effect that targets a card: You can discard this card; change the target of that effect.
to:
Once per Chain, when your opponent activates a card or effect that targets exactly 1 card (and no other cards) (Quick Effect): You can target 1 other card that is on the field, GY, or banished (except a face-down banished card) that would be an appropriate target; that card or effect now targets the new target.

It needs to be more clear where the target in question needs to be for this effect to work.

Star-Knight Explosive Bambietta's effect can be shortened from:
Once per turn: When this card is normal or special summoned; add one "Star-Knight Zombie Giselle", "Star-Knight Gluttonous Liltotto" or "Star-Knight Thunderbolt Candice" from your deck to your hand. If this card is send from the field to the graveyard: target one effect monster your opponent controls, if that monster activates it's effect; destroy that monster and inflict damage equal to that monster's ATK.
to:
Once per turn: You can excavated the top 3 cards of your Deck, and if you do, add any excavated "Star-Knight" monsters to your hand, also shuffle the rest into the Deck. If this card is sent from the field to the GY: Target 1 opponent's Effect Monster; destroy it, and if you do, inflict damage to your opponent equal to its ATK.

This monster's adding effect should be different enough from Footsoldier's adding effect, so that adding effect can be guaranteed to add, but only 1 card, while this can add potentially 3 cards, but isn't guaranteed to add anything, creating that risk/reward dynamic.

Also, you need to say "If this card is sent" with a T, not "if this card is send" with a D, since you're using past tense here, not present tense.

Star-Knight Superstar Masc's effect can be shortened from:
Once per turn: When this card is normal or special summoned; special summon 1 "James Token" (Warrior/EARTH/Level 1/ATK 0/DEF 0). While you control a "James Token": this card cannot be destroyed by battle or card effects. While this card is on the field: your opponent cannot select a "James Token" as a target for attacks or card effects.
to:
When this card is Summoned: You can Special Summon 1 "Star-Knight" monster from your hand, Deck, or GY, and if you do, while you control both face-up monsters, this card cannot be destroyed, also that monster is un-targetable for attacks or by effects. You can only use this effect of "Star-Knight Superstar Masc" once per turn.

Having to bring out a mere token with this effect, instead of just another one of the archetype's monsters, seems rather weak.

Star-Knight Frightening As Nodt's effect can be shortened from:
While this card is on the field: your opponent cannot activate set spells/trap cards, and face-down monsters cannot change their battle position. Once per turn: when a "Star-Knight" monster you control is selected for an attack: you can negate the attack; then special summon one "Star-Knight" monster from your hand.
to:
Your opponent's Set Spells/Traps cannot be activated, also he/she cannot change Set monsters' battle positions. Once per turn, if an attack is declared involving your "Star-Knight" monster: You can negate the attack, then you can Special Summon 1 monster from your hand.

The special summoning effect should be able to trigger upon any attack involving one of the archetype's monsters, not just upon said monsters being targeted for attacks.

Star-Knight Jailer Quilge's effect can be shortened from:
Once per turn: You can target one monster on your opponent's side of the field; that monster cannot attack, change battle position, or be used as material for the summon of an extra deck monster, and it's effects are negated.
to:
Once per turn (Quick Effect): You can target 1 face-up monster on the field; this turn, it cannot attack, change its battle position, or be used as Fusion, Synchro, Xyz, or Link Material, also its effects are negated.

Star-Knight Balancer Haschwalth's effect can be shortened from:
When this card is normal or special summoned, add one "Royal Star-Knight" Monster from your deck to your hand. If a "Sealed King of the Invisible Empire" is sent from the field to the GY while this face-up card is on the field, this card's name becomes "Sealed King of the Invisible Empire" until the end of your next turn. While this card's name "Sealed King of the Invisible Empire" it gains 300 ATK for every "Star-Knight" Monster in your graveyard.
to:
When this card is Summoned: You can add 1 "Star-Knight" monster or "Star Shot" from your Deck or GY to your hand. Gains 500 ATK for each card in your GY.

All that name-changing stuff is unnecessary since your archetype hardly relies on any specific monster that goes by that specific name, and this ATK increase should be 500 instead of 300, to follow the 500-ATK pattern of the previous changes I recommend.

Star-Knight Visionary Gremmy should be deleted. Its effect wouldn't work right since the opponent wouldn't know the name of every monster's ATK and DEF in order to make sure this monster's ATK and DEF are being set to the correct amount.

The remaining main deck monsters, as well as the archetype's trap, should also be deleted, as they're all basically weaker versions of already-existing cards, and thus unnecessary to have. Plus, this archetype already has 12 different other main deck monsters and 7 spells, which is already a lot at this point.

Star Shot's effect can be shortened from:
Activate one of the following effects if you control one of the following monsters: ● If you control one "Star-Knight" monster: destroy one spell/trap card on your opponent's side of the field. ● If you control one "Royal Star-Knight" Monster: Destroy one Monster on the field. ● If you control one "Holy Star-Knight" your opponent discards a random card from their hand. You can only activate one effect of "Star Shot" per turn.
to:
If you control a "Star-Knight" monster: Target 2 cards; destroy them. You can only activate 1 "Star Shot" per turn.

The discard effect needs to go. It's rather toxic for a spell to be able to easily rip a card out of the opponent's hand on turn 1 without giving them a new card, or letting them draw a new one, in return.

Holy Selection's effect can be buffed from:
If you control one "Sealed King of the Invisible Empire" you can send as many "Star-Knight" monsters as possible from your field to the GY. You can only activate one "Holy Selection" per turn.
to:
Send an equal number of monsters from each field to the GY. You cannot Normal or Special Summon the turn you activate this card, except "Star-Knight" monsters.

The archetype's remaining spells should be deleted, as there are plenty of staples than can be run in their places that do almost the same thing(s).

Holy Star-Knight Catnipp and Holy Star-Knight Masculine should be deleted as they both do pretty much the same things as other cards in your archetype.

Holy Star-Knight Gewelle's effect needs to be nerfed from:
2+ "Star-Knight" Monsters
When this Monster is Link summoned, you can special summon up to 2 LV6 or lower "Star-Knight" monsters from your GY to monster zones this card points to, but their effects are negated.
to:
2 "Star-Knight" monsters
When this card is Link Summoned: You can target 2 "Star-Knight" monsters in your GY; Special Summon both to your zones this card points to, but if you do, for the rest of this turn, you can only Special Summon from the Extra Deck once.

There's no need to have the + symbol between 2 and Star-Knight since this is a link 2, meaning you aren't gonna be using anything other than just 2 monsters to summon this. Also, the "monsters" in "Star-Knight" monsters isn't capitalized when referring to just an archetype of monster. Also, you can say "When this card is" instead of "When this monster is" here as the former is shorter.

Holy Star-Knight Basterbine's effect can be shortened from:
3+ "Star-Knight" Monsters
Once per turn: If every monster zone this card points to is occupied by a "Star-Knight" Monster, you can destroy every monster your opponent controls, but you cannot conduct your battle phase the turn you activate this effect.
to:
3 "Star-Knight" monsters
Once per turn, if this card points to 3 cards: You can destroy all monsters your opponent controls.

Like the previous link monster, there's no need for the + symbol between the 3 and Star-Knight since this is a link 3. Also, it's unnecessary for this effect to lock you out of the battle phase, since it's already gonna be difficult enough just to get this link 3 out, and then get 3 more monsters out for this to point to to use its destruction effect, without that additional restriction bogging you down. You might even be able to make it destroy all the opponent's spells and traps too instead of just their monsters (so "destroy all cards your opponent controls") and it would still be perfectly fine.

Holy Star-Knight Tartarforas's effect can be shortened from:
3+ "Star-Knight" Monsters
Monsters on your opponent's side of the field this card points to have their ATK reduced to 0. Monsters on your side of the field this card points to cannot be targeted for attack or card effects.
to:
2+ monsters
Monsters this card points to are un-targetable for attacks while, or by effects while, you control them, and they lose 3000 ATK/DEF while your opponent controls them.

This link 3 is perfectly fine being generic with only its protection and stat-reducing effects.

Holy Star-Knight Biskiel's effect should be shortened from:
3+ "Star-Knight" Monsters
Monsters this card points to cannot attack and have their effects negated.
to:
3 "Star-Knight" monsters
Negate the effects of face-up monsters this card points to.

The previous link monster already has attack-protection, so there's no need for this link to have pretty much the same thing.

Holy Star-Knight Hasshein's effect can be buffed from:
4+ "Star-Knight" Monsters
Once per turn: declare 1 attribute, this card is unaffected by the effects of Monsters of that attribute until your next end phase. When this card is destroyed and sent to the GY, destroy all monsters on the field during your opponent's next end phase.
to:
2+ "Star-Knight" monsters
Once per turn (Quick Effect): You can declare 1 Attribute; this monster is unaffected by the effects of your opponent's monsters with that Attribute until the end of the next turn while you control it. When this card is destroyed or sent to the GY: Destroy all monsters on the field during your opponent's next End Phase.

Holy Star-Knight Aschetonig's effect can be simplified from:
4+ "Star-Knight" Monsters
While the combined ATK of all monsters your opponent controls is equal to 6000 or more, this card's ATK is doubled.
to:
2+ "Star-Knight" monsters
Once per turn, if the total ATK on your opponent's field equals or exceeds 6000 (Quick Effect): You can double this card's ATK until the end of this turn.

When making an effect that checks only the combined atk of the monsters on your opponent's field, you don't need to say "combined ATK of all monsters your opponent controls". You can just say "total ATK on your opponent's field" which is shorter.

Holy Star-Knight Jilliel's effect needs to be nerfed from:
4+ "Star-Knight" Monsters
When this card is Link summoned, banish all monsters this card points to. this card cannot attack or leave the field until your next standby phase after this card was Link summoned.
to:
3+ "Star-Knight" monsters
If this card is Link Summoned: Banish all monsters it points to, also until your next Standby Phase, it cannot be destroyed by battle, cannot be Tributed, cannot be used as Fusion or Link Material, and is unaffected by other cards' effects.

It doesn't need to prevent itself from attacking in addition to the other parts of its effect. Also, no effect should outright completely prevent a card from "leaving the field".

[UberTrainerMinusInfinity]

As much as you would feel to part with your unique gimmicks, if you want Christen57 to rate your deck further, you better implement the changes on Duelingbook like I do. That reminds me: Don't forget to check out my deck spotlights if you haven't done so already!

[Duskframe]

i appreciate the feedback, i'll make the changes whenever i get around to it