Custom Archetype (Golden Pentragon)

Post your custom made cards in this forum
ShinRyu9
User avatar
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:43 pm
Reputation: 0
Contact:

Custom Archetype (Golden Pentragon)

Post #1 by ShinRyu9 » Thu Feb 18, 2021 5:45 am

Hello, this is my first time posting something on this forum. I'm currently making a custom archetype that has a bit of a story telling, something similar to that of Konami's World Legacy cards.

I'm going to be releasing them little by little while giving you a story/lore of each cards. (Oh, and if you want, you are more than welcome to suggest an effect that fits the character!)

Although I do not own the artwork (and if anyone knows of the artists here, please let me know), you guys are more than welcome to test out these custom cards. Please do share me some cool combos if you ever use them! And um, feel free to leave feedbacks or criticism!

Link(please let me know if the link doesn't work or not, I'm still new to this): https://www.duelingbook.com/deck?id=7468958

Lore Time - Introduce of the Golden Pentragon
There are five boys who are turning of age to set out on a journey. The Kings of Oath Tournament. Within the world of Densetsu, the Kings of Oath Tournament is similar to the Olympics; it's a tournament where a team of five fight other teams in varies matches. Only one team can rise to the top.

Agil Firmum: The hyperactivate, hot-headed, is always full of energy and will sometimes recklessly rush into the battle without planning.

Chase Zinoc: The calm and collected, complete opposite to Agil, the team rely on his tactics in order to seek victory in their battles.

Kenji Mingxia: The cunning leader, smooth with his words; somehow he's learned how to summon gods to assist him in battle.

Raghnall Fergus: Similar to Chase, but what differentiates them apart is that Raghnall can cook. He's a lot more talkative, and sassy towards his teammates which often leads to constant bantering.

Aaric Damon: The kind and loyal friend, though muscles is more of the perfect description. He's confident and gentle.

As they traverse the land of Densetsu, the boys rescue a girl named Ophelia Drakuvoke. Apparently, there are people interested in the ring she wields. So while they are on their way to the tournament, the boys swore to protect Ophelia from these malicious people. What awaits them on this unknown journey? Only time will tell
End of Lore

I hope you guys really like this, so please look forward to me posting more and expanding the Golden Pentragon Archetype. And again, feel free to leave feedbacks, criticism, suggestions/idea!
Last edited by ShinRyu9 on Tue Mar 30, 2021 7:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
Just an ordinary traveler passing through worlds...

Rocket2
User avatar
Posts: 331
Joined: Sat Sep 05, 2020 2:43 pm
Reputation: 34

Post #2 by Rocket2 » Thu Feb 18, 2021 6:50 am

Their names is too long. Most stick with 3-4 words. This made them readable, and save space with their HOPT.

The effects are too long & small. Monster's Effect box can only house 8 lines, before shrinking the wording to unreadable level. Hence, Konami ED Monsters only have 7 lines max for their effects. Check the DB database, you can see a lot of psct that save space. Such as "your opponent cannot activate Spell/Trap or monster effects until the end of the Damage Step." -> "...cannot activate cards or effects until...."
https://yugioh.fandom.com/wiki/Problem-Solving_Card_Text

All being cheap & does the same things. I don't bother reading them all diligently, bec by just skimming, I know enough that you haven't learn balancing. Many images came from other franchise, causing me to think this is "not" a Golden Pentragon. But the real disasters still on hand. Too many free GY SS, search, pop, handtrap, & etc. Fail. Don't like them.

https://futuregamer-yugioh.blogspot.com/2020/09/the-pros-guide-to-custom-cards-create.html This guide is a good start, but don't follow everything because some parts are wrong & very biased.

ShinRyu9
User avatar
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:43 pm
Reputation: 0
Contact:

Post #3 by ShinRyu9 » Fri Feb 26, 2021 1:01 am

Noted! Thank you for the advice. I edited them a majority of them, even deleting the rinse-and-repeat of "If Normal or Special Summoned, then this happens" and gave it only to three monsters rather than giving it to all of them. Not sure if that's a good decision, but it's more balanced. Nevertheless, thank you.
Just an ordinary traveler passing through worlds...

Rocket2
User avatar
Posts: 331
Joined: Sat Sep 05, 2020 2:43 pm
Reputation: 34

Post #4 by Rocket2 » Fri Feb 26, 2021 3:34 am

Jmho, shorten the MD monsters' names to these 4 words, because easier to read, HOPT save space, & look better; "Golden Pentragon Strength - Aaric". (Similar to Majespecter, Virtual World & etc.) But for Ophelia; remove the Dragon name. Not sure why she had an added 1 word in Dragon as her typing done that. Maybe foreshadowing in transformation, but leave that to another card when it happened.

There are some cards that does the same things (for exa; Monster Search: Tournament, Back-To-Back, or a better searcher, Agil). Yes I know Tournament & Back-To-Back are not searchable themselves, but they are still part of the archetype. Pls read the guide section on [Apart from the archetype’s mechanic, avoid making 2 cards that do the same thing]

Nerf their SS from hand by checking the DB database by typing [, you can Special Summon this card (from your hand).] (Type the comma instead of colon or semicolon). In your MD monsters that SS themselves from the hand, it is an effect. So some cards have 4 effects: Glaciana, Agil, Aaric (Debatable). Stick with 3. Read [Cards have 2-3 effects on average.] You can nerf them by using colon instead of comma with each HOPT clause.

Ophelia double stats effect. You can't let their original stats be double (Confusing with the rulings). Stick with "their ATK become", similar to Bujingi Crane or Heroic Champion - Excalibur. Don't made both a quick effect & on any monsters. Nerf all her effects to HOPT, not just the last 2. I see you want 4-6k ATK monsters, but think of how not overblow it, bec this is not an OTK archetype (they have many OP traps), and, I saw Kenji, Grandmaster, Heroic Light, & Glaciana effects. Maybe too many for me, or at the very least nerf those Traps.

Kenji. I think you are missing the "and sends to the GY" trigger, bec without it, you may implied it is an after dmg calculation activation, instead of End of the dmg step.

Is there a purpose with the Field's Tournament gimmick change name & effects? How about just a simple face-up effects negation if Tournament is present, or prevent the opp to activate Field Spell. Leave the search to the deck only, don't loop with the GY. We hate loop.

Glaciana's Ice. Too strong for a Quick-Play. The minimum requirement is any of their MD monster. Nerf it to Normal Spell & its effects, leave the interruption to your handtraps.

Angelos Aether. Brainstorm its effects to a reasonable level. Don't made it HOP Duel clause just cause you still want a OP card.

The Equip Spell effects & name is way too long. I don't bother reading it.

I see all of the Trap can be activated if a specific monster is on the field, but all the more so to greatly nerf their OP effect. Pls check the guide section on [HANDTRAPS VS. TRAPS]

Glaciana. Nerf her Link Summoned effect to only monsters currently on the field, like with so many printed activation bosses. Don't let it be a lingering one-sided floodgate (Unless they are difficult to summon Superbosses). Remove her OP float, stick with 3 effects. Psct: change "attacks, or is attacked" to "battles".

ShinRyu9
User avatar
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:43 pm
Reputation: 0
Contact:

Post #5 by ShinRyu9 » Fri Feb 26, 2021 1:28 pm

Names have been shortened, and Sp.Summon from their hands have been given HOPT. Removed a few effects while adding a few more restrictions on each of the handtraps (not sure if that's enough, might give them a "your opponent takes no battle damage" like how I did it with "Grandmaster's Arms"), and I might completely redo some of the Spell Cards (i.e. Glaciana's Ice and Angelos Aether). Field Spell Card, I might change its effect. I'm open for suggestions on redoing the effects of the Spell Cards.

Nevertheless, thank you Rocket2 for feedback!
Just an ordinary traveler passing through worlds...

Futuregamer
Posts: 127
Joined: Sun Jun 11, 2017 9:44 am
Reputation: 13

Post #6 by Futuregamer » Sat Feb 27, 2021 4:54 am

No common mechanic to keep the deck together. Frankly it's uninteresting.

777c
Posts: 13
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:00 pm
Reputation: 0
Mood:

Post #7 by 777c » Fri Mar 05, 2021 1:24 am

Any archetype that is made needs a mechanic as the glue to hold it together.
Without this "glue", the archetype is very incoherent and inconsistent.

parhelia_0000
User avatar
Posts: 464
Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2017 3:03 am
Reputation: 13
Location: Canada
Mood:

Post #8 by parhelia_0000 » Fri Mar 05, 2021 1:18 pm

Don't listen to these guys. They've lost my respect as custom card reviewers after how Rocket2 spewed racist remarks towards me.

Create the deck that YOU want to make. Don't let others try to gate-keep you from making what you want. Cheers.

KTeknis
User avatar
Posts: 724
Joined: Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:32 pm
Reputation: 76

Post #9 by KTeknis » Fri Mar 05, 2021 1:24 pm

parhelia_0000 wrote:Don't listen to these guys. They've lost my respect as custom card reviewers after how Rocket2 spewed racist remarks towards me.

Create the deck that YOU want to make. Don't let others try to gate-keep you from making what you want. Cheers.

You're doing it again. DO NOT SET OTHER THREAD ON FIRE JUST TO MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD. And also, just because Rocket2 is actively attacking you, does not mean every single card critic does. Futuregamer for example just leave after 2 post and does not bother you again.
I have interest in badly designed custom cards.
You saw these cards as terrible, I saw them as ideas.

parhelia_0000
User avatar
Posts: 464
Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2017 3:03 am
Reputation: 13
Location: Canada
Mood:

Post #10 by parhelia_0000 » Fri Mar 05, 2021 1:26 pm

KTeknis wrote:
parhelia_0000 wrote:Don't listen to these guys. They've lost my respect as custom card reviewers after how Rocket2 spewed racist remarks towards me.

Create the deck that YOU want to make. Don't let others try to gate-keep you from making what you want. Cheers.

You're doing it again. DO NOT SET OTHER THREAD ON FIRE JUST TO MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD. And also, just because Rocket2 is actively attacking you, does not mean every single card critic does. Futuregamer for example just leave after 2 post and does not bother you again.

If it means getting everyone to recognize how much racism custom card reviewers like Rocket2 is spewing out, then perhaps it's for the best that I intervene.

KTeknis
User avatar
Posts: 724
Joined: Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:32 pm
Reputation: 76

Post #11 by KTeknis » Fri Mar 05, 2021 1:28 pm

parhelia_0000 wrote:If it means getting everyone to recognize how much racism custom card reviewers like Rocket2 is spewing out, then perhaps it's for the best that I intervene.

Just like Saraak said: Please don't generalize. Not all of us are Rocket2 and want the same things as them. A prime example being Christen57 and his constructive criticism, of which I disagree with only a few parts of.

The only one who cyberbullied is him, not us. Everyone other than Rocket2 wants this to just stop and deescalate.
I have interest in badly designed custom cards.
You saw these cards as terrible, I saw them as ideas.

parhelia_0000
User avatar
Posts: 464
Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2017 3:03 am
Reputation: 13
Location: Canada
Mood:

Post #12 by parhelia_0000 » Fri Mar 05, 2021 1:30 pm

KTeknis wrote:
parhelia_0000 wrote:If it means getting everyone to recognize how much racism custom card reviewers like Rocket2 is spewing out, then perhaps it's for the best that I intervene.

Just like Saraak said: Please don't generalize. Not all of us are Rocket2 and want the same things as them. A prime example being Christen57 and his constructive criticism, of which I disagree with only a few parts of.

The only one who cyberbullied is him, not us. Everyone other than Rocket2 wants this to just stop and deescalate.

Unfortunately, as long as Rocket2 continues to attack me in the forums, this will never deescalate. You want this to stop? Then get Rocket2 to stop attacking me and apologize for the damage he's done (which will never happen).

ShinRyu9
User avatar
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:43 pm
Reputation: 0
Contact:

Post #13 by ShinRyu9 » Sun Mar 07, 2021 2:43 am

parhelia_0000 wrote:Don't listen to these guys. They've lost my respect as custom card reviewers after how Rocket2 spewed racist remarks towards me.

Create the deck that YOU want to make. Don't let others try to gate-keep you from making what you want. Cheers.


This is just my two cents here. Maybe I'm way too new on this forum, so I don't know what's the issue between you and Rocket2. Personally, I don't care. Please, don't spew your own issue onto this thread. It's nice and all that you're trying to defend me from the criticism, but I really don't think it's necessary. Very nice of you, but I'm fine. At the end of the day, it's not like they're going to somehow ban me or like gate-keep me from making shit custom cards.

Like, from most of the criticism that I'm getting from these guys, they're just criticizing my cards--and not me. Which I don't care. And we can just go on our days. Unless it's a personal attack, that's a different story.

Plus, Rocket2's criticisms are valid. And he's helped me build a small foundation with my cards. Do my cards need more fixing? Yes, definitely!

Do they need a core mechanic to make it stand out like Futuregamer mentioned? Yes, it definitely does.

Maybe I'm being too humble. But bro, we're talking about custom cards here lol. You realize how ridiculous this is going? I don't have the time and energy to argue with critics. Neither should you, man. I'm just doing this for a hobby, and to pass some time. Unless this is my job, then I'll take more serious. But again, lol custom cards...
Just an ordinary traveler passing through worlds...

ShinRyu9
User avatar
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:43 pm
Reputation: 0
Contact:

Post #14 by ShinRyu9 » Sun Mar 07, 2021 3:06 am

Like a core mechanic that I'm trying to go for is the theme of "friendship" between each of the five cards such as "If there are x number of "Golden Pentragon"; Special Summon this card (from your hand)." That's pretty basic, but bro, it's boring. And I'm glad Futuregamer pointed it out.

There could be more to just "Sp.Summon from hand" if you control x amount of card(s).

And Hand Traps that can be activated if you control certain monsters? I tried balancing that, and I know how frustrating hand traps can be. So, I obviously need it to make a bit more restrictive, so it can't be easily spammed and abused.

I rather have hundreds of critics expressing their dislikes about my cards in order to help me improve than have thousands of people praising me for making cards.
Just an ordinary traveler passing through worlds...

ShinRyu9
User avatar
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:43 pm
Reputation: 0
Contact:

Post #15 by ShinRyu9 » Sat Mar 13, 2021 3:08 am

So I went onto reworking the MD monster's effect, giving them a Summoned Effect of sending 1 "Golden Pentragon" monster with a different Attribute to the GY, then doing another effect. In my honest opinion, I don't like it because it gives too much advantage even though it's strictly sending GP Monsters to the GY (FREE Foolish Burial is still Foolish Burial). So I might change it to make it feel like it fits the central "theme" of the archetype.

If you guys have suggestions, feel free to give me some ideas!
Just an ordinary traveler passing through worlds...

ShinRyu9
User avatar
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:43 pm
Reputation: 0
Contact:

Post #16 by ShinRyu9 » Wed Mar 24, 2021 7:30 am

I changed the 5 MD monster's effect once more. This time, to reflect more on their "friendship" kind of theme where they always have each other's back.

Now, they have battle protection if you control another "GP" monster. Wasn't sure how to word it where it can't be itself but another "GP" with a different name (I think I may have found the answer).

They will no longer have any Sp.Summon from hand anymore. I think I might make the Spell Cards do that, but who knows. I'm still thinking of an idea for the Spell Cards. However, they still have their "Summoned" effect and their third unique effect.
Just an ordinary traveler passing through worlds...

KTeknis
User avatar
Posts: 724
Joined: Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:32 pm
Reputation: 76

Post #17 by KTeknis » Wed Mar 24, 2021 12:12 pm

You're still working on your deck and posting it here?
That's some dedication there mate. Keep up the good work!
I have interest in badly designed custom cards.
You saw these cards as terrible, I saw them as ideas.

ShinRyu9
User avatar
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:43 pm
Reputation: 0
Contact:

Post #18 by ShinRyu9 » Wed Mar 24, 2021 6:57 pm

KTeknis wrote:You're still working on your deck and posting it here?
That's some dedication there mate. Keep up the good work!


Thank you! I've been taking Rocket2 and Futuregamer's advice and trying to make it feel like it's a Deck that reflects on its effect based on its lore rather than being a meta defining deck.

Btw, is there a way you can delete some replies on this thread? Hoping to delete a "certain" reply to avoid any sort of drama in this thread lol.
Just an ordinary traveler passing through worlds...

Lil Oldman
User avatar
Posts: 1733
Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:23 pm
Reputation: 178
Location: Toontown
Mood:

Post #19 by Lil Oldman » Wed Mar 24, 2021 7:35 pm

ShinRyu9 wrote:
KTeknis wrote:You're still working on your deck and posting it here?
That's some dedication there mate. Keep up the good work!


Thank you! I've been taking Rocket2 and Futuregamer's advice and trying to make it feel like it's a Deck that reflects on its effect based on its lore rather than being a meta defining deck.

Btw, is there a way you can delete some replies on this thread? Hoping to delete a "certain" reply to avoid any sort of drama in this thread lol.

It is impossible on your own. The only way would be able to delete them is either:
A) Ask each person in te thread to delete their most recent post. (First I would delete the answer, then you, then KTeknis and so on and so forth.
OR
B) Explain a moderator the situation and ask them if they can delete the post remotely.
"Complacency? How rude. I live the stifling life of a high school student in our problematic modern society."
Help I cannot remove this music from my head
https://youtu.be/ZuXI7qcNsHQ
Will try reviewing custom cards if they look interesting.

ShinRyu9
User avatar
Posts: 25
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:43 pm
Reputation: 0
Contact:

Post #20 by ShinRyu9 » Wed Mar 24, 2021 9:12 pm

It is impossible on your own. The only way would be able to delete them is either:
A) Ask each person in te thread to delete their most recent post. (First I would delete the answer, then you, then KTeknis and so on and so forth.
OR
B) Explain a moderator the situation and ask them if they can delete the post remotely.


Noted! Thank you. I guess I'm just leave it as it is. It honestly looks too much of a hassle to do, but it is what it is. I kinda wish parhelia_0000 didn't come in and act like a hero when there was nothing serious going on, and judging how heated he is against majority of custom card reviewers, I highly doubt he would delete those replies from this thread.

Nevertheless, I'm just going to keep updating this thread from time to time and pretend there was any drama in here.
Just an ordinary traveler passing through worlds...


Return to “Custom Cards”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 204 guests