Obligatory "Last Person to Comment Wins" Thread

[Monarch Snow]

Clearly, I'll win.

[The Lich King]

Liar.

[Fluxeon]

Liar.

Your pants just burst into flames.

[CloudParameters]

Time to buy new pants.

[NoahC92]

All these people up on my post like I didn't make it because I plan on winning..... smh

[ChosenUndead]

I like my french fries to be crispy and long.

[Tote]

kys

[The Lich King]

ok

[Monarch Snow]

I win!

[ChosenUndead]

42

[Rikku]

Time to buy meth

[ChosenUndead]

this forum can't get any shittier tbh

[NoahC92]

Boop

[Fluxeon]

Boop

Beep boop

[ChosenUndead]

I know this may sound strange, but please, you must listen to me. It is of the utmost importance. One day, you may hear a knock at your door when you are home alone. If you check to see who it is, there will be no one there. There will simply be a package. Just a plain package: no markings or labels of any sort. Not even a shipping address or name. Just a standard package. You will look around for a mailman making his rounds or a UPS truck driving away, anything to explain the appearance of this package, but there will be nothing. When you come to this point. Just stop. Turn around, go inside, watch TV, surf the Internet, anything to get your attention off the package.

If you don't, your curiosity will get the better of you. Under no circumstances should you open the package. Just leave it outside on the doorstep, don't even touch it, or you'll be further tempted to see what's inside. Don't worry, within the next half hour if you go outside, it will have vanished without a trace, and you'll never see it again. You may live the rest of your life not knowing what was in that mystery box, you may even openly express regret for not taking a peek.

Don't worry. It's not worth the trouble.

For if you do open the box, you will find nothing. Except, of course, a small piece of paper. On that piece of paper will be a sentence, simple but utterly unsettling:

"You opened the box. You shouldn't have done that."

For the rest of your life, you will be looking over your shoulder, questioning whether or not people are following you. You will forever be unable to feel safe or comfortable in one place for too long. You'll know that you have invited something into your life, but you'll never figure out quite what it is, and that's the most maddening part. That you will never know. You will constantly feel like you could be attacked and killed by anyone at any moment, even those you love. You will cut contact with everyone you know and die, alone and terrified. And why will you do all this? Because that note implied something terrible would be fall you, it drove you to paranoia. You'll probably initially try to brush the note off as some dumb joke, but I ensure you it's not. And you can trust me, do you know why?

Because I am all too familiar with how this crazy cat-and-mouse game works. In fact, I know that there's a package waiting outside your door, right now, as you read this block of text. I haven't had the chance to knock yet, but I'll let you know a secret: I'm watching you from a distance, as I've watched many before you. I see you now, as you read this article. Don't try to find me, you never will. I'm good at hiding, you see. I've been at this for a long, long time. That feeling I said you'll get, the one of paranoia and near constant terror and panic. Well, there's a reason you'll get it: I'll be watching you; watching and waiting.

After you've cut contact and are sitting in your remote home alone, unable to sleep out of a mix of horror, depression, and paranoia, I'll slip silently into your home. I'll be wearing all black, wearing a doll's mask, carrying a silenced pistol, with a surgical saw, gag, handcuffs, gasoline tank, flare, and plastic bag in my car. Your death will be quick and painless; after the years of psychological torture, I owe you a dignified and merciful death. Then I'll go to work on your body; I'll dismember you and stuff you in the plastic bag and then dump you in a river and set your house on fire. Your family will hear of your disappearance, and hold a funeral with no corpse to bury. I'll be there, too, sitting in the shadows, paying my respects.

For you see, I'm no monster; I can do good by my victims. I'm not insane, just bored. So go ahead, go outside, find the package there. I love seeing the look of surprise on people's faces when they see that it's really there. If you follow my advice from earlier, you're one of the smart ones; don't let curiosity kill the cat. However, if you brush it off as some sort of demented, elaborate prank, and eventually open the box, you'll regret it. I know what you're thinking as your read this:

"This is definitely just a sick joke. There's no box outside, and if there is, there's no way all this is going to happen. I'm stronger than that. It's a joke, that's all." And you're probably right...

Then again, you might not be... I guess you'll have to find out for yourself. The choice is yours.

[Wobbu]

>more than 3 lines
And you expect me to read that?

[ChosenUndead]

Reading is a means of thinking with another person's mind; it forces you to stretch your own.

[Rikku]

I know this may sound strange, but please, you must listen to me. It is of the utmost importance. One day, you may hear a knock at your door when you are home alone. If you check to see who it is, there will be no one there. There will simply be a package. Just a plain package: no markings or labels of any sort. Not even a shipping address or name. Just a standard package. You will look around for a mailman making his rounds or a UPS truck driving away, anything to explain the appearance of this package, but there will be nothing. When you come to this point. Just stop. Turn around, go inside, watch TV, surf the Internet, anything to get your attention off the package.

If you don't, your curiosity will get the better of you. Under no circumstances should you open the package. Just leave it outside on the doorstep, don't even touch it, or you'll be further tempted to see what's inside. Don't worry, within the next half hour if you go outside, it will have vanished without a trace, and you'll never see it again. You may live the rest of your life not knowing what was in that mystery box, you may even openly express regret for not taking a peek.

Don't worry. It's not worth the trouble.

For if you do open the box, you will find nothing. Except, of course, a small piece of paper. On that piece of paper will be a sentence, simple but utterly unsettling:

"You opened the box. You shouldn't have done that."

For the rest of your life, you will be looking over your shoulder, questioning whether or not people are following you. You will forever be unable to feel safe or comfortable in one place for too long. You'll know that you have invited something into your life, but you'll never figure out quite what it is, and that's the most maddening part. That you will never know. You will constantly feel like you could be attacked and killed by anyone at any moment, even those you love. You will cut contact with everyone you know and die, alone and terrified. And why will you do all this? Because that note implied something terrible would be fall you, it drove you to paranoia. You'll probably initially try to brush the note off as some dumb joke, but I ensure you it's not. And you can trust me, do you know why?

Because I am all too familiar with how this crazy cat-and-mouse game works. In fact, I know that there's a package waiting outside your door, right now, as you read this block of text. I haven't had the chance to knock yet, but I'll let you know a secret: I'm watching you from a distance, as I've watched many before you. I see you now, as you read this article. Don't try to find me, you never will. I'm good at hiding, you see. I've been at this for a long, long time. That feeling I said you'll get, the one of paranoia and near constant terror and panic. Well, there's a reason you'll get it: I'll be watching you; watching and waiting.

After you've cut contact and are sitting in your remote home alone, unable to sleep out of a mix of horror, depression, and paranoia, I'll slip silently into your home. I'll be wearing all black, wearing a doll's mask, carrying a silenced pistol, with a surgical saw, gag, handcuffs, gasoline tank, flare, and plastic bag in my car. Your death will be quick and painless; after the years of psychological torture, I owe you a dignified and merciful death. Then I'll go to work on your body; I'll dismember you and stuff you in the plastic bag and then dump you in a river and set your house on fire. Your family will hear of your disappearance, and hold a funeral with no corpse to bury. I'll be there, too, sitting in the shadows, paying my respects.

For you see, I'm no monster; I can do good by my victims. I'm not insane, just bored. So go ahead, go outside, find the package there. I love seeing the look of surprise on people's faces when they see that it's really there. If you follow my advice from earlier, you're one of the smart ones; don't let curiosity kill the cat. However, if you brush it off as some sort of demented, elaborate prank, and eventually open the box, you'll regret it. I know what you're thinking as your read this:

"This is definitely just a sick joke. There's no box outside, and if there is, there's no way all this is going to happen. I'm stronger than that. It's a joke, that's all." And you're probably right...

Then again, you might not be... I guess you'll have to find out for yourself. The choice is yours.

[Yang Xiao Long]

Oh god. so it begins

[AnimeMasterDub]

Guess who's back?