Post #194 by Natalia » Tue Jan 22, 2019 4:32 am
Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything–I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these Fur Hire Players. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts UwU-ing my daddy meat. Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a duel with this guy in my locals. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas playing sky strikers vs fur hires while enjoying a nice evenly matched game. The guy looked like a real man's man, too–big biceps, meaty thighs, Big Tail in his Ass. He didn't seem the least bit furry. At least not until he started OwO-ing my Furhood. Where does this fuwwy duwwy get the nerve to uwu my owo? Did I look fur hire to him? Was I wearing cat ears without realizing it? I don't recall the phrase, "owo whats this" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, owo, daddy likies." I've got nothing against fur hire players. Let them be free to do their furry thing in peace, I say. But when they start ama-ing my bulgy wulgy, then I've got a real problem. Then there was the time I was hiking through the regionals and came across a rugged-looking, blond-haired man dressed in a dog suit in his early 30s. He seemed employed enough to me while we were dueling on that tourney table, but, before you know it, he's fur hire. What is it with these furfags? Can't they control their job searching uwu's? Aren't there enough fuwwy meats out there for them to get employed with without them having to target normal people like me? Believe me, I have no interest in getting my uwu owo'd by some fursona fur hire. But try telling that to the guy at the ycs. Or the one at worlds. Or my vendor. Or any of the countless other furballs fur hire who've come on to me recently. All of them furried my flurry, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I tell you, when a man fur hire is sucking your daddy likies a lot-meat x3, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was unemployed? And where did he get that fantastic snout? It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a man passes me on the street, I'm afraid he's going to grab me and drag me off to some bathroom to extra link me with fur hires. I've even started to visualize these repulsive special summoning episodes during the healthy, sky striker meta deck relations I enjoy with my beloved tcg - even some that haven't actually happened, like the sweaty, "special summon donpa, beat effect okie owo?" locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can't seem to stop thinking about. Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be Trickstar players trying to uwu my ama, which would be gay and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. But believe me, that's enough. I don't know what makes these tailwipes fur hire mistake me for a guy who wants his bulgy wulgy nuzzled , and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop. I've tried all sorts of things to get them to stop, but it has all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather fursuit with menacing paws in the hopes that it would frighten those furfags off, but it didn't work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were nuzzy wuzzing my bulgy, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their snouts just before cummy time and shooting daddy milk all over their face, neck, chest and fur seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these swishes? I swear, if these fagfurs fur hire don't take a hint and quit rawr-ing my furstick all the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures–like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful furarms and working my big meatie all the way up their tail-holding space so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome special summoning. I mean, you can't get much more direct than that.